yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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