there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize