I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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