WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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