Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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