Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
