first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
