So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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