Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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