do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
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