I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
