also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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