i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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