The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
