I am in a vortex of obligation.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
