She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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