he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
