But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
