i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
