I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
