so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I had to cum in my sink.
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