dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
