I'm laying in your front yard are you home
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
