Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
