i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
where are you?
Hypothermia
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
My vagina is officially offended.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
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