We're facebook friends in real life
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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