I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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