I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
