So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize