I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Randomize
