Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
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