Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize