i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize