Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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