I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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