He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
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