Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
