the day after is always just damage control
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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