he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
