is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize