You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
