What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
