I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
