i think my tv is drunk
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
