with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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