My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
