She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
