I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize