Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
