The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
