Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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