The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I touched a dick in church today
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
