Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize