wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
