just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
