I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
