Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
50% drunk capacity currently
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
