Define "chronic" masturbator.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
