a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
