I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
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