the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
