VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
