you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
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