I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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