Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
