I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
