everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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