doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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