Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize