jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
tonight lets celebrate not being married
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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