Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I still have a little drunk in my system
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
