i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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