You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Randomize
