At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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