its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
