i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
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