I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
