Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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