i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
Randomize
