What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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