You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
