Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
