i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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