marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
